2012 has arrived

It is the 2nd of January 2012 .. 2012 .. I feel old .. I turn 25 this year.

At the end of every year we each try to come up with something we want to achieve, something we want to change.  It causes you to reflect on the year that has passed and perhaps analyse yourself or the choices you made. 

I am incredibly lucky and 2011 was one of the most amazing years of my life so far.  I travelled to places and partook in things that others dream of doing.  This however was only possible because of a truly inspiring person and for that I am forever grateful.

I want to have the same incredible year in 2012 but I want to be able to stand up and say that I also had something to do with it.  I want to achieve something for myself - maybe it will only be small but I want it to make a difference - even if it is only on a personal level.

This may have something to do with the optimism that a new year brings or that when I remember or am helpfully reminded hat I turn the big 2-5 this year my heart beats a little faster.  Whichever it is I hope to hang on to the enthusiasm or the fear and use it to drive myself.

I plan to write a post every day and it will be filled with the things that make me happy - mainly love (friends, family and the one) and fashion and once in a while I may even diversify.  A small step but a step nonetheless.

Here's to 2011 and what 2012 has to match up to.

Loves xoxo

A Sea Of Maybe

Screaming, crying, shouting - none of these stop the weight of panic
So instead I lay there, like fog the panic wraps itself around me, blurs my vision and in reality my thoughts.
I call it claustrophobia, I name it paranoia but its definition is fear.
I fear being left.
I fear being hurt.
In my dreams the fear manifests itself - nightmares, believable stories.
I fear waking up.
Will I return to the living and be a witness to it all crashing down around me?
Will I wake and be starting all over again?
I panic, overanalyse, I think about what I would feel if everything went wrong, how would I cope?
Then the panic releases its hold, the fear creeps back into its hiding place.


When I fall in love it is as far as you can fall
My family mean everything to me
Christmas is my favourite time of year - I adore everything about it
I have the best group of girls you will ever find
I have a spectacularly bad sense of direction
I am obsessed with shoes and handbags
I hate my indecisiveness
I know how incredibly lucky I am
I think about things, then I think about them again and again and again
I need constant reassurance on pretty much everything that I do
I will protect and fight for anything I believe in


"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end
  life is about not knowing
  dealing with change
  taking the moment and making the best of it
  without knowing what is going to happen next"